I share with you the points that seem important and interesting to me, from my personal research.
It occurred to me, that just as Sanskrit had about fifty words of love (I did not count … so I was told) and just as Eskimos have a selection of words that describe snow, we should have a multitude of words that describe “self-pleasure.”
And to begin with, I would throw out the word “Onenut” (“masturbation”) from the Hebrew language. A word derived from the biblical name Onan, who was, to remind us, one of Judah’s sons, the one who refused to marry his brother’s widow’s wife in accordance with the tradition that was customary at the time, and destroyed his seed to the ground. The family drama of people who died is not connected to loving myself.
There are so many different types of self-indulgence, at least among us, women, there is also different physical conduct and, of course, different uses of the experience.
Clotiral pleasure, vaginal delight at the holy point (G-spot), without accessories, with a stream of water, self-breathing, meditative, is there anything else I did not think of? teach me, girls!
Self-indulgence as a substitute for a sleeping pill, a ritual of love and self-esteem, ritual of self-indulgence as a means of attracting abundance and creating reality. Self-indulgence as a means of healing oneself and sending healing to others .Self-pleasure as a means of merging with the forces of nature, self-pleasure as a means of stimulation and seduction of the partner, what else? Oh, of course, just because I’m horny.
And certainly more, and more.
Psychotherapist Ester Perl, the author of the book “Erotic Intelligence,” argues that “education for erotica is an education that promotes values of pleasure in its own right – the ability to truly enjoy our body is related to recognition of our own worth.”
Our ability to acknowledge our value, to feel worthy and to enjoy our bodies is closely linked to our ability to develop a loving relationship first of all, with ourselves and our body. To know it deeply, to allow our bodies to surprise us and to renew ourselves.
Self-pleasure is not only a substitute for sexual intercourse. Self-pleasure is first and foremost a name of self-love and a deepening of the blessed relationship between ourselves and our bodies. Self-pleasure is a journey of inquiry, of discovery, of joy independent of external things. Asking us to approach him with curiosity, openness, and a genuine willingness to try and experience.
Statistical studies speak of self-pleasure as an experience shared by most women (89%) and most men (95%), yet we rarely talk about it, and from conversations and discussions I have had with women I realize that many of us still find it difficult to find their way to self-love.
So with your possession, I share with you points that seem important and interesting to me from my personal research:
Create a sacred space
Tantric rituals, in fact, rituals in general, are designed to take the familiar, the obvious, and transform it into a new space, allowing us to discover new things about us and the world.
One of the most important and essential stages of each ceremony, is the preparation for the ceremony. Prepare the space, the time and of course your body. light candles, find the exact preparation for the ceremony, say a prayer – “for the sake of the Holy of Holies, I come to fulfill my commandments of creation with love to praise my body.” (For example)
Take a shower or a long bath, apply your body with oils, you go on a date with yourself, how fun!
Get out of the routine – as in any relationship even in a relationship with ourselves the routine can become tiring.
In the course of life, we have created fixed patterns of self-indulgence, excellent! It’s time to explore new provinces and expand. You like the shower- go to bed, like the clitoris-hey, what about the vagina? used to do it before bedtime? – Try to find time during the day (yes, I know, it’s challenging …) Find a quiet and isolated place in nature, play with it. There is a whole world there to discover.
And be kind to yourself – imagine that your lover would go straight to your tickle and begin rubbing with the aim of “finishing” you as soon as possible … you would have cut his head, and rightly so. Touch yourself with silks and feathers, this is not the race after the orgasm, it will come if and when, yes or no, Love and worship those you are.
Invite your inner Shiva
Play with him, how can you please him? Will he please you? Play with archetypes. What goddess are you today?
What brings me to the subject of fantasies – I admit, it’s not so much my thing so I do not have much to say on the subject, and yet, one thing – I hear from women about a lot of confusion, fear, and guilt about this subject, so let’s clarify one thing once and for all, Fantasy does not equal wish !! You fantasize about five hairy men who rape you, but it does not mean you would want it to happen in reality.
On the contrary, the sexual, personal, marital and group space allows us to experience and explore the “animal” that we are in safe and loving spaces. I find that giving space to violent fantasies allows us to “clean” them of the spaces of our relationships. I can play with these yearnings without summoning a life of challenges of sacrificial relations from within them that will allow me to investigate in the “flesh”.
Self-indulgence as meditation – Tomer Persico wrote a fascinating short article in Mako: “Masturbation has something that confronts us with ourselves, which opens up an opportunity to learn about ourselves and what motivates us, and enables us to get closer to our body. But most of all I think that masturbation can be learned from the delicate balance between us and the world, on the thin line between the ego and the other.
This delightful loop reveals many secrets. When I masturbate, who is the worker and who will we act? Who produces pleasure, and from whom? How does the mind affect the body, and how does the body affect the soul? Where is the “I” entering this convoluted circle of feedback? “Indeed, self-pleasure is a wonderful opportunity to practice the” Who am I? “The Beloved”
“It is not good for a man to be (only) alone”
Share your loved ones, self-pleasure really does not have to happen alone and in rooms, you have rituals of mutual self-pleasure, look at each other, sanctify, bless and love each other while enjoying yourself.
And last but not least –
What are friends for? Yes, you know, it’s not for everyone. Sisters that allow exploration of sexual energy that does not necessarily relate to sexual attraction allow closeness, inspiration and joint study.
Well, It came out long and completely out of reach.
Bottom line – let’s love ourselves.