Headlines such as “7 Ways to Orgasm” or “All About Female Orgasm and How to Reach It” represent the prevailing view that there is some unresolved issue with this whole subject. There is a problem.
It is not exactly clear how the peak begins and where it ends.
For men, orgasm comes as a power, clear, fast and accurate. Much of the Tantric practice is devoted to techniques that treat premature ejaculation and lengthening the time of orgasm. They shouldn’t finish too fast.
In general, the Tantric discourse does not really deal with female orgasms. The man is supposed to finish slowly or not finish at all and the woman is supposed to finish as much as she can.
In both cases, there is a mistaken assumption that there is some place to go. There is a goal, there is a desired end line to be crossed.
I say that the problem begins (and ends …) in the word itself – “finish”.
I suggest a new word to work with and its – to “connect”.
When I succeed in being connected to the body, the soul and the subtle feelings of sexual pleasure that flow between them, then no “squirting” occurs!
A connection is created to the whole process of opening and discovering more and more places in the body that receive stimulation, opening, reacting and vibrating until a kind of internal feedback is created, an endless feedback loop that continues to vibrate at different frequencies. It is actually, an experience of a rich, diverse and total orgasm that connects me deep into me, to my sexual organ. This is the way to myself, to the freedom and to the simple truth of being a woman who belongs to the human race.

Unlike the male orgasm, this orgasm does not go anywhere and it does not end – it’s always there. This is the great cosmic orgasm. This is our pulse of life.
The male orgasm has a clear evolutionary explanation but the female orgasm remains elusive and mysterious for many women.
Millions of women lived and died without the knowledge that they could have an orgasm, and of course, none of them knew that the orgasm could have moved her to a different spiritual dimension, or even be the torch in her way of enlightenment.

The orgasmic spectrum is wide: there are women who can finish during the spinning class, during childbirth, when they are nursing or immersing in the Jacuzzi. Some people experience an extracellular (astral) pleasure experience and their orgasm takes them to visit other countries. There are lots of women who are orgasmic. The statistics that we read in a magazine are – only a third of the women finish from penetrating. The extra third finishes only with external stimuli, and the rest simply do not finish at all.
The misconception is revealed in the word itself – “to come to” – as if there is a certain place that marks the end of the process and exactly where it should be.
So there is no such thing.

It is true, that there are scientific studies that have succeeded in accurately mapping different areas are activated in the brain in the moment of orgasm, and it is clear that there is a neurological end to the process. (Involving explosions of more than thirty different areas of the brain), but those who practice Tantric sexuality already know that the orgasmic process can be infinite in essence. A variety of orgasms waiting to be discovered elsewhere in the body, beyond the fast neural pathway that connects directly between the brain and genitals.

How do you get to a place that does not want to arrive?

Regular orgasm, such as “finishing it”, is usually focused on feelings that arise from the genital area (whether it is in the clitoris, vagina, the G or the cervix). The experience is reduced, regardless of the pleasure and emotional discharge. I do not come here to say that there is any problem with this, on the contrary, it is a very pleasurable experience. What I am saying is that for me the whole thing is in the ability to choose – to finish or not to finish.
The field of investigation, space where all this infinite pleasure takes place is, of course, the body.
The Yogic Tantra sees the body as a wonderful and sacred thing, the chariot that carries the divine soul. According to yoga, all our stresses come from the diagnosis that we are not in the body. Our attention is most of the time between the ears. When sexual energy flows in its entirety in the body, it will often encounter blockages that contain emotional traumas that we hold. When so many women treat their bodies in an unpleasant way, as a disturbing factor and a source of shame and pain, it is no wonder that consciousness rises to the head instead of focusing in the body.

Life in modern society is directed at the mental plane, so that even when we reach physical contact, we are still occupied with thoughts, fears and fantasies, and there is no real connection to the body.
Tantra Yoga encourages us to love, nurture, and cherish the body. It is a source of wisdom, happiness, and freedom. Through the body we are connected to the here and now, to the eternal present, to the force of life. When I am present in my body and agree to connect to my feelings of pleasure in a one-on-one encounter, without escaping fantasies, the barriers melt away and the sexual potential is released. It takes time, effort and sensitivity but it is so worth it!

The “connected orgasm” is a full body orgasm, in which sexual energy is felt as a flow of sensations throughout the body. Her focus is in the Yoni – that’s the heart of the whole thing. That’s the engine. This is the root from which the pleasure begins to grow.
When we manage to bring awareness to as many places in the body as possible – the feeling of pleasure expands from the penis to the whole body and becomes a whole sex organ. The orgasmic wave runs over it, it is loaded and all the orgasmic experience expands and opens.
In this place, I discover that the orgasm is always there, it’s like breathing. Like the sensation of the skin, like the vision, one can enter or leave it. Like an Asana (yoga posture) – orgasm involves giving oneself a moment – to silence.

To get inside and become one with myself, beyond who I think I am. In this, place orgasm is transcendental, beyond place and time. It has no beginning and no end. She’s always here. Right now as you read these words, as I write, I notice the connection to my Yoni, my stomach, my chest, my throat and my face. My fingers are typing and I notice my breath. I feel in my body, I feel alive. From time to time I notice pleasant flickering in different areas of the body. A soft golden light surrounds me.
I agree to experience, to love and to shine myself out. When I am connected, I agree to love, to open up to the world and blossom. I have something to give.
My orgasm teaches me to live. Yes!

Suggestions to help you connect to the orgasmic frequency:

– Loving your vulva. This is the basic condition. From here everything begins. I do not mean that you should now take a look between your legs (although it is great), but if your heart has unpleasant feelings about this magical organ, check what stands on your way to love your vagina. (To read “monologues from the vagina” is a warm recommendation).

– Dedicate time to self-indulgence. It’s true that there are more and more workshops, dealing with the Yoni: Yoni Massage, La Yoni Yoga, Jade Eggs, Amrita Ceremonies and all sorts of other things, but I mean just if you have twenty minutes at home, take yourself to the bedroom, spread your legs and place your left hand on your vulva and your right hand on your heart. Get in touch with your breathing and look at your feelings.

– Connect with a partner who is connected to their orgasmic energy. The next step after self-pleasure is to revel in companionship. Two connected bodies that unite together in the act of love, are devoted to each other and to an experience that dissolves all the barriers between them. An experience that connects us to the divine creation. It is especially worth practicing in an intimate place outside, on earth and under the sky.

– There are countless ways and forms to connect to the orgasmic sequence. You will agree to give yourself to the heart of your sexual movement. Fuck patiently. Allow yourself the freedom to explore together different types of contact, with one giving and one receiving. Speak freely about your feelings. You dare to be exposed to fullness, make sounds, groan and vibrate, move, change positions, suck, lick and enjoy your open and liberated body.

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There is great confusion these days in the sexual energy, the energy that creates and sustains all life, the strongest energy that exists within us. There are two poles of this energy, masculine and feminine. Each of these polarizers has different qualities that are responsible for the functioning of all who we are. We are composed of masculine energy and feminine energy, and each of us also has feminine and masculine qualities.

The properties of a healthy masculine energy:

Presence – the ability to be here and now in and out of the body in a full connection.

The ability to penetrate – the life, the feminine  and all the inner shadows. Done out of presence, tenderness, sweetness and desire to give.

Clarity – the deep connection to the spiritual worlds and the bringing of precision into this moment, the ability to see clearly the vision and the direction of realization.

Creating a safe and secure space – placing clear and healthy boundaries and structures – creates security while allowing the feminine to be all that it is.

Accurate communication – in listening, in speech, in presence, in sharing and in facilitation, the ability to be authentic and real.

Strength – the ability to fulfill, the power to break through, to give a clear direction and to persevere. The ability to exercise in life.

Testimony – the ability to be neutral and without judgment, deep observation in a moment without identification.

When healthy masculine energy is not nurtured, it becomes damaged and hurtful.

The ‘shadows’ of masculine energy:

Controlling and Planning – In the absence of true presence and trust, male energy tries to control, manipulate, a impose life on itself.

Confusion, blurring and lack of direction – when the ability to be present is dimmed, there is no direction, nowhere and how to penetrate and it creates paralysis and submission to what happens without the ability to decide and perform. Looks and feels like lack of backbone, damaged integrity and trust.

Aggressiveness – When the presence is weak, the ability to penetrate the world with presence, sweetness and softness is weakened, and then the masculine becomes difficult, aggressive, and even violent, perceptions of war, competition and survival are strengthened, instead of peace, cooperation and creativity.

Chaos and insecurity – when the ability to create clear and healthy boundaries does not exist, a chaotic and threatening space is created, there is nothing to define and create security. This is how exploitation is born, traumas, distrust and fears.

Lies – When the communication is inaccurate and unreal, false life is created. We walk on exhausting, painful paths, entrenchment in the self and inability to grow and develop.

Frenzy and internal noise – when observation and uneducated committees create internal noise, thoughts and feelings dominate the system, movement from the past to the future, lack of peace, satisfaction and quiet, self-judgment and external criticism.

The healthy properties of feminine energy:

Love – the energy of love itself, the ability to love and be loved, to let love itself flow through us, unconditional and without restrictions.

Devotion and surrender – the ability to let go, to give in to the moment, to energy, to everything that exists, to everything that comes, to be the energy itself and to deepen within it in totality.

Radiation and the ability to develop – the glamor and beauty of life energy, the energy that attracts the masculine, is expressed in nature in radiant viscosity (women and men), Mother Earth. The agreement and the ability to develop more and more, to delve deeper and deeper into devotion and love.

Energy in motion – all types of emotional energy movements, the ability to be total in them, and the ability to move from one emotional state to another in full devotion.

Acceptance – the ability to accept the existing, to deepen the liberation of the old, and to develop more and receive more and expand the channels of
acceptance in our life.

When the feminine energy is not nurtured it becomes damaged and its shadows are:

Conditional love – When love does not reach its depths (mainly due to lack of male presence), love is limited to the exchange of energy, give and take games, love with conditions and laws.

Emotional Disconnection – When the ability to surrender and succumb is weakened, trust is weakened, defenses are created, energy rises to the top (heightened thinking and mind), and a disconnect is created from the emotional bodies.

Emotional drama – when female radiation is weakened and barriers are created from opening, female energy is stuck in pain and suffering and produces more and more painful emotional energy, a feeling of victimization activated and the mechanisms of guilt and applied internally and externally, patterns of revenge and punishment are intensified.

Closure and Opacity – When the ability to accept is closed, the sexual energy is stuck, not renewed, not flowing, everything feels stressed, the detachment from life grows , the patterns of survival are activated and freedom is reduced.

The Sacred Union

The sacred union is the deep encounter between masculine and feminine, a deep space is created in this encounter – of presence and love, of heaven and earth, spirit and matter. This session allows for the deepest healing, the deepest connection, and the deepest transformation.

Sacred union is performed at various levels in depth and form and infinite expressions to it. This sacred union also occurs in our midst (the healthy masculine in us meets the healthy feminine in us, when presence and love merge, and we go deeper into our core, the root of our being to our unity) and in sacred encounters with the outside world (humans, nature ,energy entities, etc).

The sacred union within the act of love making:

The act of love is first of all within us, when presence and love merge together, the masculine and the feminine within us meet and heal each other, and we relax deeply into the place within ourselves that is all and the other place within us is void.

When we relate to the sacred union with another person, we relate to the intersection of the poles that are built with the other’s poles. Usually one person connects to one energy and the other to the other, men usually connect to the masculine and women to the feminine (even in the same sex encounter, one side usually chooses masculine and feminine), this polarity is essential for sexual attraction and general health.

In this article, I refer to the sacred union between a man and a woman, even though as mentioned, it speaks of masculine and feminine, and therefore also applies to all types of encounters.

The encounter begins with the two’s agreeing to create a sacred encounter, a healing encounter that allows anything that wants to rise from our depths (subconscious) to come to the surface and receive expression and transformation. The masculine wants to bring his healthy qualities and through them to open and deepen the feminine, while the feminine wants to surrender and open and move the flow of love.

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